A Space for Conversation without Words

Anyone who has ever experienced bereavement will understand how isolating grief can be. Desiring privacy to feel the rollercoaster of emotions, it’s as if you’ve been transported back to the set of the 1960’s television series Get Smart, and placed the ‘Cone of Silence’ over your head to minimise unwanted noise from your external environment. While one looks out from the encompassing clear Perspex bubble, it creates a false sense of security by detaching individuals from the bothersome happenings of everyday life. Preserved within a confused and altered state, time stands still for the mourner who waits patiently for the remains of their bewilderment to dissipate.

During this interval, as one internalises the changes occurring, their sound waves take on a rather strange reflective quality. The inner workings of their mind, the tone of their voice, and the very tension stuck in their body becomes sharpened and displayed for others to view from a distance. An echo of their former self reverberates outwards, troubling objective spectators with an uncanny representation of the person. This demonstration assembles the qualities of self-expression, displaying as an exhibition, the suppression and confinement of personal liberation.

As someone currently experiencing this transition within a bubble of miscommunication, I struggle to convey the true meaning of a message. Whether I suppress thoughts in the back of my subconscious mind or physically open my mouth to release the words through verbal communication, the vortex of this bubble is impermeable – both from the inside as well as the outside. Genuine feeling that inspires animation becomes temporarily dulled, and relationships suffer from a lack of meaningful, reciprocal enhancement.

Survival in this space without words is extremely difficult as our bodies are predestined for give-and-take interaction. The porous nature of our skin – our barrier to the inside and outside world, is breathable and permeable, designed to respond and adapt to changes as demanded. This reflex of internal and external forces balancing simultaneously, acknowledges the inherent co-operation we desire for our existence. For example, we cannot breathe without lungs (internal) but we also cannot live without oxygen (external.) One cannot exist without the other. It is impossible to label this interdependency for it stretches far beyond our limited perception. Any instance of internal changes, such as deviations of DNA, developmental issues, and disease or injury, could prevent the function and purpose of breathing. External changes, such as pollution, environmental disasters, poor lifestyles, or even travel to remote places (deep-sea exploration, climbing the highest summit of mountain peaks, and a launch to outer space,) also removes the possibility of life without intervention for short-term relief.

Our daily actions create noise that define our being, and no matter how quiet we might remain by preserving the self in a protective bubble, it cannot last for long. When one’s unique form of communication is suppressed, whether in the form of words, gestures, actions, or choices - either consciously or subconsciously, we sever our primal instinct to participate in reality. As we also naturally rely on a series of relationships and interactions to convey our differences, we perform a disservice to everything around us, failing to communicate our unique perspective in the hope of contributing positive change.

The perception of failing to communicate presents an opportunity for adaptability in both our internal and external world. Look at the life of a butterfly. Nature does not judge this transition, recognising that destruction does not decay but is the means for regeneration. When we recognise this factor in human life too, perhaps we will stop objectifying ‘unnatural’ states and celebrate the process of re-emergence from our protective bubble to enhance ourselves and our closest relationships. Validation can substantiate our desire for responsive emotional development, so I encourage you to reach out and start a new type of conversation without words.