Space to Share Vulnerable Connection

I recently re-discovered the appeal of nostalgic 90’s Tv shows, and happened upon the American comedy 3rd Rock from the Sun. The show centres around The Solomon’s – an urban family of four aliens living on earth as humans. Their mission is to observe human society and understand the seemingly insignificant lives they lead. Dealing with ethics, developing meaningful relationships, and the hilarious absurdity of ‘feelings,’ episodes highlight the vulnerable and often frightening concept of human existence.

One such alien on their mission called ‘Sally’ (given the problematic task of being female,) endures the greatest amount of overwhelming universal forces known to man. Sensitive to understanding these unknown sensations in reaction to her earthly experience, she occasionally releases a flood of tears in panic. Misunderstanding the concept of connecting to painful emotions, the other three male aliens exclaim in horror ‘Oh no – you’re leaking again! Why are you leaking?’

Bordering on ridiculousness, I must admit that this fresh perspective made me laugh. As humans, we do ‘leak’ a lot – not just in a physical form, but in an emotional form also. Creative outlets for these outpourings of emotions include books, music, poetry, art, dance, storytelling, conversations and relationships, to name a few. By reading a book on the commute to work, visiting a gallery or museum on the weekend, or simply recalling a favourite memory with a friend over coffee, we allocate time and space to absorb and reflect upon these fleeting sensations of self expression.

By some means, our existence becomes an art, and anyone who has ever lingered in the self-help section of a bookstore knows that there is plenty of knowledge available on the art of becoming a better person. Some topics that reflect this process include the art of conversation, the art of letting go, the art of seduction, even the art of manliness. While the intention to help is admirable, this concept of becoming human suggests that from birth, we were not born perfect. The fact that you are alive now suggests that something is missing within your soul’s history, and you should spend your entire existence healing yourself from it while inspiring others to do the same. We pay for this experience with our precious time on earth, realising that our chance for life-long serenity could be taken away at any given moment.

I truly believe that we contain our unique formula for perfection at birth, and this meticulous handiwork is different for every living soul (plants and animals included.) We do not give our DNA as much credit as we probably should, for if you look closely, we are reminded of the power of experimentation inherent in our very existence – an expression of two lines of ancestry in a single individual. On a cellular level, one person contains the memory of all those direct descendants that lived before us and expressed their need for human connection. We may not want to remember than Aunt Milly had six different children to four different husbands and never once got a divorce, but who are we to judge how someone spent their time on earth (particularly when we are directly related to them.)

Unlike the Solomon’s, we didn’t magically appear on earth in a 1962 Rambler America 400 Convertible; and on your most difficult day, no matter how great it would be to ‘start over’ again, life is not a simple process. The wonderful but fleeting sensation shared through a series of expressive relationships is a highly risky investment for potential feelings of immediate and future happiness. Instead of the single antidote to life-long pleasure, we are naturally gifted with opportunities to develop character as we navigate treacherous variables and detours, as well as the phenomena of feeling, to way-find our closest group of individuals that reflect our original spirit.

With two feet planted on the terra firma, human existence reminds us that our true value exists in the perfect imperfection of vulnerable connections. This is our simple but profound mission as earthlings.