Engaging personal responsibility of space

Anyone who has ever played or watched sports of any kind, from basketball to AFL, ice-hockey to ping-pong, understands the spatial rules of play. Whatever the goal, the area is outlined through markers of some sort, delegating responsibility to the persons occupied within that space. While each sport has its own rules, cricketers ‘own’ a portion of an expansive green, mindful of other fielders nearby; while netballers understand the requirement to pass the ball to a teammate at a certain point on the court. Players in all sports recognise their personal responsibility of space for the greater goal of mutual enhancement among other team members. If this process can be so easily translated in a leisure activity, why do so many of us fail to acknowledge our personal responsibility of space when it comes to maintaining strong but independent relationships during a difficult conversation? In my line of work, I deal with personal intimidation through the invasion of space on a regular basis. Clients utilise stand-over tactics in an aim to bully myself and colleagues into narrowing our ‘invisible line of defence’ closer to our private space, ensuring the other has added breadth for personal gain. In a conversation I witnessed today, my colleague struggled to breakdown the shared responsibility of an issue equally divided in four ways. The bully attempted to coerce her into carrying an additional 50% responsibility, ensuring that she would shoulder a total of 75% responsibility. His tactic of shifting personal responsibility had worked until that point because everyone involved recognised her superior experience overseeing the situation. My colleague also allowed this power-play to occur as she had hoped to keep all participants in line by carrying additional ownership. Managing this balance was unsustainable, and I noted that the only way to return these shares to equal ways, was to acknowledge everyone’s distinct struggles. Composing separate emails, these letters revealed the underlying lines in the sand that had become momentarily covered from a mound of bull****. To conceptualise this scenario, let’s consider a game of tennis. In a doubles match, two people occupy each side of the court, and share ownership of the front and back area equally. A good pair will acknowledge their strengths, favouring particular sides/ front or back positions, and communicate their intentions during each play of the ball. A bad team will inflate their ego’s by chasing after good shots, and blame their partner when difficult shots are missed. The difference in this situation is how each team take ownership and maintain their spatial responsibility of the court’s quadrants. Without spatial awareness of the other teammates moves, their personal responsibility of an area is weakened, leaving them exposed to potentially losing a match. During a difficult conversation, the same sense of spatial engagement is apparent, through the listening and speaking between parties. A good listener will utilise patience, and reciprocate their thoughts at an opportune moment. A good speaker will know when to stop speaking, and change tactics if they are not being heard. Spatial responsibility therefore lies in the moment of silence, as active participants must tune into intuitive senses to process possible intentions. The personal responsibility of space has a similar flow to a radio station; without pausing to confirm the signal is strong, trigger-happy fingers will adjust the station too soon and fuzz up a cool song. As evolving beings, it is part of our mission to step into responsible relationship dynamics and reveal the makers of personal responsibility to ensure equal ownership of shared space. Until then, we’ll just have to witness a true amalgamation of spatial responsibility on the sports field.